janetlin: (Wild rumpus)
Judgment of dissolution is entered. Marital or domestic partnership status is terminated and the parties are restored to the status of single persons on: May 18, 2007.

The Petitioner's former name is restored to Tofelt.


It's done, finally, completely, fucking done. I'm so relieved right now, I'm crying. I want to drink champagne with Alan.
janetlin: (Wild rumpus)
Judgment of dissolution is entered. Marital or domestic partnership status is terminated and the parties are restored to the status of single persons on: May 18, 2007.

The Petitioner's former name is restored to Tofelt.


It's done, finally, completely, fucking done. I'm so relieved right now, I'm crying. I want to drink champagne with Alan.

FINALLY

Mar. 22nd, 2007 09:31 am
janetlin: (Dancing Eddie)
On Tuesday, my attorney's office emailed Johnnie the final forms he had to sign (since he doesn't have an attorney and is thus basically representing himself, there are waivers and disclosures and whatnot for him), and I just got a phone call from the paralegal saying that Johnnie faxed them back, and they just need another $1500 to cover the work that's been done, and then they can file the goddamn things.

I know, sounds awfully similar to the way we left things back in November, when Johnnie and I supposedly signed everything. But the paralegal sounded very relieved and happy when she called, so I don't think she's just leading me on again. So I won't have my name back for my birthday, but hopefully soon after.

FINALLY

Mar. 22nd, 2007 09:31 am
janetlin: (Dancing Eddie)
On Tuesday, my attorney's office emailed Johnnie the final forms he had to sign (since he doesn't have an attorney and is thus basically representing himself, there are waivers and disclosures and whatnot for him), and I just got a phone call from the paralegal saying that Johnnie faxed them back, and they just need another $1500 to cover the work that's been done, and then they can file the goddamn things.

I know, sounds awfully similar to the way we left things back in November, when Johnnie and I supposedly signed everything. But the paralegal sounded very relieved and happy when she called, so I don't think she's just leading me on again. So I won't have my name back for my birthday, but hopefully soon after.
janetlin: (Dancing Eddie)
Papers have been signed! Hell yeah.

And the six-month period has already passed, so all we're waiting on is a judge to sign it - which should take a couple weeks - and then I get my name back!

Johnnie and I celebrated by going to see Casino Royale, since we had time while Morgan was still in school. Matinee prices are lovely things, precious...
janetlin: (Dancing Eddie)
Papers have been signed! Hell yeah.

And the six-month period has already passed, so all we're waiting on is a judge to sign it - which should take a couple weeks - and then I get my name back!

Johnnie and I celebrated by going to see Casino Royale, since we had time while Morgan was still in school. Matinee prices are lovely things, precious...
janetlin: (Bitchplz)
As he'd said he would yesterday, Johnnie called me today.  'Twas hilarious, and perhaps sheds some light on the "babe" thing

He calls me up, "to check on the baby," and we talk about his flight out here, and then he goes, "Change of subject.  What _is_ it about me?  That I only hook up with people who aren't interested or who end up being totally psychotic?" which makes me snicker.  He'd been pursuing a relationship with this woman named Misty since almost immediately after I'd left.  He was even thinking of bringing her out to California when he moved back here after graduation.  And had been playing high-and-mighty by informing me that they weren't actually dating, because her parents wouldn't watch her kids (she's a widow) until our paperwork had been signed.  *rolleyes*  Please.

So I try to keep the smirk out of my voice as I ask, "Did Misty turn out to be totally psychotic?"  *kicks heels in laughter*  He didn't give details (and I didn't ask, because it really isn't my business), but apparently she's basically stalking him now.  He hides out Invisible on IM so that she doesn't try to talk to him.  And I'm like, "Dude, in her defense, you did seem _all_ about it.  She's naturally going to assume you're serious." 

So then he gets all solicitous and starts asking me about how school is going, how things are going with Alan (which I totally played down), and he said, "Well, since you're back in school, you'll probably be able to meet guys your age.  If you can't be happy with me, be happy with someone else."  Oh, he's such a martyr.

And I'm once again getting the, "I still love you and I would be willing to work for our relationship" vibe.  *sigh*  How can he expect me to believe that, when he wasn't trying to work for our relationship while I was still there?  He's just silly.

Alan's opinion when I told him about the "babe" thing was that maybe Johnnie has finally realized what he's lost, and given this phone talk, I'm inclined to agree.  From what I hear, I was the first mentally stable girlfriend he'd ever had.  Though, he's an unredeemable bullshitter tale-teller, so he could very well have been exaggerating.

It all just makes me giggle.
janetlin: (Bitchplz)
As he'd said he would yesterday, Johnnie called me today.  'Twas hilarious, and perhaps sheds some light on the "babe" thing

He calls me up, "to check on the baby," and we talk about his flight out here, and then he goes, "Change of subject.  What _is_ it about me?  That I only hook up with people who aren't interested or who end up being totally psychotic?" which makes me snicker.  He'd been pursuing a relationship with this woman named Misty since almost immediately after I'd left.  He was even thinking of bringing her out to California when he moved back here after graduation.  And had been playing high-and-mighty by informing me that they weren't actually dating, because her parents wouldn't watch her kids (she's a widow) until our paperwork had been signed.  *rolleyes*  Please.

So I try to keep the smirk out of my voice as I ask, "Did Misty turn out to be totally psychotic?"  *kicks heels in laughter*  He didn't give details (and I didn't ask, because it really isn't my business), but apparently she's basically stalking him now.  He hides out Invisible on IM so that she doesn't try to talk to him.  And I'm like, "Dude, in her defense, you did seem _all_ about it.  She's naturally going to assume you're serious." 

So then he gets all solicitous and starts asking me about how school is going, how things are going with Alan (which I totally played down), and he said, "Well, since you're back in school, you'll probably be able to meet guys your age.  If you can't be happy with me, be happy with someone else."  Oh, he's such a martyr.

And I'm once again getting the, "I still love you and I would be willing to work for our relationship" vibe.  *sigh*  How can he expect me to believe that, when he wasn't trying to work for our relationship while I was still there?  He's just silly.

Alan's opinion when I told him about the "babe" thing was that maybe Johnnie has finally realized what he's lost, and given this phone talk, I'm inclined to agree.  From what I hear, I was the first mentally stable girlfriend he'd ever had.  Though, he's an unredeemable bullshitter tale-teller, so he could very well have been exaggerating.

It all just makes me giggle.
janetlin: (School)
Registration for classes is on Monday, so yesterday I was all proactive and went online to the class schedule listing and figured out what I want to sign up for. And the classes that I want all fit nicely into a solid chunk. No showing up for class at 8am and then nothing until noon. MWF my first class would start at 11, and Tues/Thurs it would be 10:30. Which is lovely. I am totally not a morning person; it's hard enough to get me out of bed, and to have to go straight to class and actually use my brain... past experience has shown that just doesn't work. The other nice thing about having a big block of time in the morning is that if I get into the Work Study program, that's a good two hours I can work, instead of only having 45 minutes here and there between classes. And if I don't get a campus job, that's a good two hours I can use to last-minute cram/do homework/go back to bed review my notes. ;D

Three of the classes I want (Intermediate Russian, The Child in the Family, and Geology and the Environment) have half their seats still available, so I expect no difficulties there. For my fourth class, I've given myself three options: Introduction to Linguistics (11 seats available), Elements of Meteorology (5 seats), and European History since 1945 (1 seat). The history one I'm not really stressed about. It's available in the spring so if I don't get in I can always take it then. With 11 seats left (which is ~ one-third of the class), I think I can pretty easily expect to be able to get into the Linguistics one, which would be beautiful because then I'd have at least _one_ class in my preferred subject, instead of this mishmash of GE requirements. Except for the Russian - that's a "fun class" as well. And if my dad gives me grief for alloting four of my units to something so "useless" I'll just remind him that I needed to retake it to improve my grade, anyway (it was one of those from my last semester. I didn't _really_ fail it, it's just an Incomplete - because I didn't take the final - but after one semester, unresolved Incompletes turn in to F's on the transcript).

So I went to Financial Aid on Friday to find out about my fees, which it turns out are deferred. Woot! But the name on my FAFSA (married) doesn't match the name on the school records (maiden), so they gave me a name change form to fill out and bring back with a copy of my marriage certificate, and a copy of my Social Security card showing my married name. Grr. On a whim, I looked in a box under my desk half an hour ago, and found the marriage certificate (yay, don't have to pay the county of Amador for a new one!), but my SS card is AWOL. They say to keep it in a safe place, and not to carry it around with you, but then you need it for flippin' _everything_, so it ends up living in your wallet anyway. Well, apparently I was a good kid and put mine back into that "safe place." Yeah, you know the one. The one that's so safe you can never find it. So I'll have to make a trip to the SS Administration on Monday to request a new one. But wait, the only proof of citizenship I have is my passport, which is in my maiden name. So once again I need that goddamned all-important marriage certificate, to show my name change. My face matches the picture in my passport, and the name there matches the one on the marriage cert., which got changed to the _other_ name on the marriage cert., which is the name on my Driver's License, which has another picture of me. Jesus!

And then there's the issue that I'm in the process of a divorce, so my name will just be going _back_ to my maiden name in (hopefully) a few months. But to receive the Federal Student Aid I've applied for (using my married name), I need to change it, just to change it _back_ later! Shit, this marriage turns into a bigger mistake every day, it seems like. Such a great big pain in the ass. Stupid goddamn glorified piece of paper. It might almost be worth paying the county another $10 just so I have an extra copy I can fucking _burn_. I'm so sick of it.

I'm sorry, marriage and divorce stuff should be a new post. Unfortunately, it sort of bleeds into every other aspect of my life, so it's hard to talk about anything without mentioning it.
janetlin: (School)
Registration for classes is on Monday, so yesterday I was all proactive and went online to the class schedule listing and figured out what I want to sign up for. And the classes that I want all fit nicely into a solid chunk. No showing up for class at 8am and then nothing until noon. MWF my first class would start at 11, and Tues/Thurs it would be 10:30. Which is lovely. I am totally not a morning person; it's hard enough to get me out of bed, and to have to go straight to class and actually use my brain... past experience has shown that just doesn't work. The other nice thing about having a big block of time in the morning is that if I get into the Work Study program, that's a good two hours I can work, instead of only having 45 minutes here and there between classes. And if I don't get a campus job, that's a good two hours I can use to last-minute cram/do homework/go back to bed review my notes. ;D

Three of the classes I want (Intermediate Russian, The Child in the Family, and Geology and the Environment) have half their seats still available, so I expect no difficulties there. For my fourth class, I've given myself three options: Introduction to Linguistics (11 seats available), Elements of Meteorology (5 seats), and European History since 1945 (1 seat). The history one I'm not really stressed about. It's available in the spring so if I don't get in I can always take it then. With 11 seats left (which is ~ one-third of the class), I think I can pretty easily expect to be able to get into the Linguistics one, which would be beautiful because then I'd have at least _one_ class in my preferred subject, instead of this mishmash of GE requirements. Except for the Russian - that's a "fun class" as well. And if my dad gives me grief for alloting four of my units to something so "useless" I'll just remind him that I needed to retake it to improve my grade, anyway (it was one of those from my last semester. I didn't _really_ fail it, it's just an Incomplete - because I didn't take the final - but after one semester, unresolved Incompletes turn in to F's on the transcript).

So I went to Financial Aid on Friday to find out about my fees, which it turns out are deferred. Woot! But the name on my FAFSA (married) doesn't match the name on the school records (maiden), so they gave me a name change form to fill out and bring back with a copy of my marriage certificate, and a copy of my Social Security card showing my married name. Grr. On a whim, I looked in a box under my desk half an hour ago, and found the marriage certificate (yay, don't have to pay the county of Amador for a new one!), but my SS card is AWOL. They say to keep it in a safe place, and not to carry it around with you, but then you need it for flippin' _everything_, so it ends up living in your wallet anyway. Well, apparently I was a good kid and put mine back into that "safe place." Yeah, you know the one. The one that's so safe you can never find it. So I'll have to make a trip to the SS Administration on Monday to request a new one. But wait, the only proof of citizenship I have is my passport, which is in my maiden name. So once again I need that goddamned all-important marriage certificate, to show my name change. My face matches the picture in my passport, and the name there matches the one on the marriage cert., which got changed to the _other_ name on the marriage cert., which is the name on my Driver's License, which has another picture of me. Jesus!

And then there's the issue that I'm in the process of a divorce, so my name will just be going _back_ to my maiden name in (hopefully) a few months. But to receive the Federal Student Aid I've applied for (using my married name), I need to change it, just to change it _back_ later! Shit, this marriage turns into a bigger mistake every day, it seems like. Such a great big pain in the ass. Stupid goddamn glorified piece of paper. It might almost be worth paying the county another $10 just so I have an extra copy I can fucking _burn_. I'm so sick of it.

I'm sorry, marriage and divorce stuff should be a new post. Unfortunately, it sort of bleeds into every other aspect of my life, so it's hard to talk about anything without mentioning it.
janetlin: (Default)
Nothing bad or rant-ish, but it's kind of long and I realize that not everyone wants to know all the details. )



For those of you who didn't follow the cut; it's an emotional rollercoaster, but everything looks to turn out okay.
janetlin: (Default)
Nothing bad or rant-ish, but it's kind of long and I realize that not everyone wants to know all the details. )



For those of you who didn't follow the cut; it's an emotional rollercoaster, but everything looks to turn out okay.
janetlin: (Default)
My husband visited last weekend, to spend Halloween with the baby (as it's his favorite holiday). On his first day here, he and I were able to have a very good long talk while our daughter obligingly napped for three hours. We each know where the other is coming from now, and so all there is to be done is getting the paperwork going, which he is keen to do, "so it doesn't drag out." There is still the issue of our paperwork-doer needing to be paid, though, so we shall see. I plan to speak with the man who mediated my parents' divorce, as they have always spoken well of him and how smoothly he made the process go for them.

*deep breath* So this is really going to get done. I actually feel relieved and somewhat empowered. I haven't felt so at ease with a choice of this magnitude in a long time (no, not even getting married in the first place felt this right).
janetlin: (Default)
My husband visited last weekend, to spend Halloween with the baby (as it's his favorite holiday). On his first day here, he and I were able to have a very good long talk while our daughter obligingly napped for three hours. We each know where the other is coming from now, and so all there is to be done is getting the paperwork going, which he is keen to do, "so it doesn't drag out." There is still the issue of our paperwork-doer needing to be paid, though, so we shall see. I plan to speak with the man who mediated my parents' divorce, as they have always spoken well of him and how smoothly he made the process go for them.

*deep breath* So this is really going to get done. I actually feel relieved and somewhat empowered. I haven't felt so at ease with a choice of this magnitude in a long time (no, not even getting married in the first place felt this right).
janetlin: (pic#)
For those of you who don't know me already...

I am twenty-four years old. I am a Californian who has bounced back and forth to Missouri way too many times over the past five years. I first went for school, and returned home during the summer. In my second year (my last, as it was a two-year school), I met a guy from Kansas City. He was attentive and everything my last boyfriend had not been. I graduated and he followed me home.

We lived together for a year, and I got pregnant. Oops. We had planned on getting married, but not so quickly. My family, however, was squicked by the idea of an unwed mother, and hustled everything right along. After two months of planning, we were married in November, and our daughter was born the following April. _That_ November, we moved from Sacramento to Kansas City. We'd (or at least I had) been told that my husband's mother was in poor health and his sister and aunt needed his help taking care of her. So we pack up all our worldly possessions in a Uhaul and my car, and drive out there. Turns out she's no worse than she has ever been, and now we're stuck there. Very unhappy mommy.

I came back to California the following spring to work for my aunt (who prepares taxes and needed extra help during the season). I almost didn't return, but I decided that I had to try, really try, before bailing. So I went back. By June it was apparent that things were not improving. My mental and emotional state was getting worse, our financial situation was not improving (living with his mother was supposed to allow us to save money, but we still couldn't), and my husband and I were having differences that were becoming more and more unreconcilable.

At my husband's suggestion, I brought our daughter with me back to California this past August. We are living in my father's house and I have decided to seek legal separation. My husband knows of my intentions and will go along with what I decide to do. The only thing we have worth fighting over is the baby, who is now eighteen months old. But that will be one hell of a fight, all on its own, if it comes to that.

In the meantime, I am in limbo. We both know that separation and divorce is imminent, but we don't have the money to hire attorneys or a mediator to get it done. So now is a time of uneasy footing and awkward phone calls, while we save up, and try to figure out what we want for our daughter and for ourselves.
janetlin: (Default)
For those of you who don't know me already...

I am twenty-four years old. I am a Californian who has bounced back and forth to Missouri way too many times over the past five years. I first went for school, and returned home during the summer. In my second year (my last, as it was a two-year school), I met a guy from Kansas City. He was attentive and everything my last boyfriend had not been. I graduated and he followed me home.

We lived together for a year, and I got pregnant. Oops. We had planned on getting married, but not so quickly. My family, however, was squicked by the idea of an unwed mother, and hustled everything right along. After two months of planning, we were married in November, and our daughter was born the following April. _That_ November, we moved from Sacramento to Kansas City. We'd (or at least I had) been told that my husband's mother was in poor health and his sister and aunt needed his help taking care of her. So we pack up all our worldly possessions in a Uhaul and my car, and drive out there. Turns out she's no worse than she has ever been, and now we're stuck there. Very unhappy mommy.

I came back to California the following spring to work for my aunt (who prepares taxes and needed extra help during the season). I almost didn't return, but I decided that I had to try, really try, before bailing. So I went back. By June it was apparent that things were not improving. My mental and emotional state was getting worse, our financial situation was not improving (living with his mother was supposed to allow us to save money, but we still couldn't), and my husband and I were having differences that were becoming more and more unreconcilable.

At my husband's suggestion, I brought our daughter with me back to California this past August. We are living in my father's house and I have decided to seek legal separation. My husband knows of my intentions and will go along with what I decide to do. The only thing we have worth fighting over is the baby, who is now eighteen months old. But that will be one hell of a fight, all on its own, if it comes to that.

In the meantime, I am in limbo. We both know that separation and divorce is imminent, but we don't have the money to hire attorneys or a mediator to get it done. So now is a time of uneasy footing and awkward phone calls, while we save up, and try to figure out what we want for our daughter and for ourselves.

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