The story so far

For those of you who don't know me already...

I am twenty-four years old. I am a Californian who has bounced back and forth to Missouri way too many times over the past five years. I first went for school, and returned home during the summer. In my second year (my last, as it was a two-year school), I met a guy from Kansas City. He was attentive and everything my last boyfriend had not been. I graduated and he followed me home.

We lived together for a year, and I got pregnant. Oops. We had planned on getting married, but not so quickly. My family, however, was squicked by the idea of an unwed mother, and hustled everything right along. After two months of planning, we were married in November, and our daughter was born the following April. _That_ November, we moved from Sacramento to Kansas City. We'd (or at least I had) been told that my husband's mother was in poor health and his sister and aunt needed his help taking care of her. So we pack up all our worldly possessions in a Uhaul and my car, and drive out there. Turns out she's no worse than she has ever been, and now we're stuck there. Very unhappy mommy.

I came back to California the following spring to work for my aunt (who prepares taxes and needed extra help during the season). I almost didn't return, but I decided that I had to try, really try, before bailing. So I went back. By June it was apparent that things were not improving. My mental and emotional state was getting worse, our financial situation was not improving (living with his mother was supposed to allow us to save money, but we still couldn't), and my husband and I were having differences that were becoming more and more unreconcilable.

At my husband's suggestion, I brought our daughter with me back to California this past August. We are living in my father's house and I have decided to seek legal separation. My husband knows of my intentions and will go along with what I decide to do. The only thing we have worth fighting over is the baby, who is now eighteen months old. But that will be one hell of a fight, all on its own, if it comes to that.

In the meantime, I am in limbo. We both know that separation and divorce is imminent, but we don't have the money to hire attorneys or a mediator to get it done. So now is a time of uneasy footing and awkward phone calls, while we save up, and try to figure out what we want for our daughter and for ourselves.

The story so far

For those of you who don't know me already...

I am twenty-four years old. I am a Californian who has bounced back and forth to Missouri way too many times over the past five years. I first went for school, and returned home during the summer. In my second year (my last, as it was a two-year school), I met a guy from Kansas City. He was attentive and everything my last boyfriend had not been. I graduated and he followed me home.

We lived together for a year, and I got pregnant. Oops. We had planned on getting married, but not so quickly. My family, however, was squicked by the idea of an unwed mother, and hustled everything right along. After two months of planning, we were married in November, and our daughter was born the following April. _That_ November, we moved from Sacramento to Kansas City. We'd (or at least I had) been told that my husband's mother was in poor health and his sister and aunt needed his help taking care of her. So we pack up all our worldly possessions in a Uhaul and my car, and drive out there. Turns out she's no worse than she has ever been, and now we're stuck there. Very unhappy mommy.

I came back to California the following spring to work for my aunt (who prepares taxes and needed extra help during the season). I almost didn't return, but I decided that I had to try, really try, before bailing. So I went back. By June it was apparent that things were not improving. My mental and emotional state was getting worse, our financial situation was not improving (living with his mother was supposed to allow us to save money, but we still couldn't), and my husband and I were having differences that were becoming more and more unreconcilable.

At my husband's suggestion, I brought our daughter with me back to California this past August. We are living in my father's house and I have decided to seek legal separation. My husband knows of my intentions and will go along with what I decide to do. The only thing we have worth fighting over is the baby, who is now eighteen months old. But that will be one hell of a fight, all on its own, if it comes to that.

In the meantime, I am in limbo. We both know that separation and divorce is imminent, but we don't have the money to hire attorneys or a mediator to get it done. So now is a time of uneasy footing and awkward phone calls, while we save up, and try to figure out what we want for our daughter and for ourselves.