Poetry scores
Aug. 10th, 2005 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
janetlinGot the scores for last week's poetry: 90.4%!! The teacher says my poems were the "most sophisticated submitted." I, of course, am blown away by this, because I _never_ write poetry, and hardly ever read it. Wow. Here are the three that were in the end-of-week portfolio, for your perusal...
This assignment was to portray man's interaction with nature:
Ex Cathedra
This cathedral was not made by men,
But by God –
The better in which to worship Him
In the cold, rushing Merced
Two men stand,
John pushes his cousin under
And the sun shines upon them
The sugar pine reaches down to offer a cone,
The fruit of her body
Joshua breaks it, “For you,”
And offers the nuts to his companions
Peter kneels on the rocks at the base of Bridalveil
His hands cupped and held out in supplication
The life of all falls into them
And he drinks
The Chapel bell rings
And out runs the couple:
Their fingers entwined like little garden snakes
And apple blossoms in her hair
A park ranger guides pilgrims around the valley floor,
Stopping every now and then
At fourteen points,
To let them reflect and wonder
This cathedral was not made by men,
But by God –
The better in which to worship Him
This one asked us to make a list of ten highs, lows, and turning points that could be used for writing a poem. A ten-step journey through my "love"-life:
My boys
Graeham – first kiss, no thought
over in a heartbeat, lasting forever
never know what might have been:
I moved away
Iain – tall, dark, & handsome
New Zealand accent,
first time for butterflies
summer camp was over too soon
Chris – not so tall, still cute
boys are dumb but he was cool
not afraid to hang out with a girl,
and I was afraid to ask for more
Jeff – blonde & blue-eyed
finally enough courage to ask
(probably shouldn’t have)
‘cause it scared him off
Jordan – dark & brooding poet’s soul
best friends for years
but when the time came
he didn’t want to ruin it
David – green-eyed soccer star
a Cold War of a catfight
with my friend Nicole…
never spoke to either again
Ian – a dancer & a gentleman
requited at last!
the candle was bright & hot
but it burned out fast
Greg – my dreams given flesh
everything was perfect
except one tiny detail:
he didn’t love me
Alan – another Kiwi, with hazel eyes
kindred spirit or past-life partner?
broke through defenses and pain
just to talk for hours
Johnnie – blue eyes like wells
and the soul I’d been looking for
he gave me a new name
and a beautiful baby girl
And the instruction for this one was to write a poem based on a photograph of a family member. This is an Italian-style sonnet (per Alan's suggestion) based on a pic of my brother at my eighth-grade graduation (he was eleven and not at all impressed by the goings-on):
Little Brother
My little brother, caught in boredom there,
If only we could have those days again –
The simple life of children’s innocence –
Back when the world was safe and life was fair.
What happened to those kids we were, and where
Has our enjoyment gone? Remember when
We’d laugh at anything, and all our friends
And family would always be right there?
We’ve both grown up – time goes by in a whirl –
Known love and pain and grief and death and birth,
We’ve moved out, gone to school, and “seen the world.”
But if this makes you sad, here is this pearl
Of wisdom: that, for whatever it’s worth,
I think we’re still the same young boy and girl.
Huzzah! I got the tags to work! Took me forever, but I did it. Now to revise like crazy for the final portfolio due Friday....
This assignment was to portray man's interaction with nature:
Ex Cathedra
This cathedral was not made by men,
But by God –
The better in which to worship Him
In the cold, rushing Merced
Two men stand,
John pushes his cousin under
And the sun shines upon them
The sugar pine reaches down to offer a cone,
The fruit of her body
Joshua breaks it, “For you,”
And offers the nuts to his companions
Peter kneels on the rocks at the base of Bridalveil
His hands cupped and held out in supplication
The life of all falls into them
And he drinks
The Chapel bell rings
And out runs the couple:
Their fingers entwined like little garden snakes
And apple blossoms in her hair
A park ranger guides pilgrims around the valley floor,
Stopping every now and then
At fourteen points,
To let them reflect and wonder
This cathedral was not made by men,
But by God –
The better in which to worship Him
This one asked us to make a list of ten highs, lows, and turning points that could be used for writing a poem. A ten-step journey through my "love"-life:
My boys
Graeham – first kiss, no thought
over in a heartbeat, lasting forever
never know what might have been:
I moved away
Iain – tall, dark, & handsome
New Zealand accent,
first time for butterflies
summer camp was over too soon
Chris – not so tall, still cute
boys are dumb but he was cool
not afraid to hang out with a girl,
and I was afraid to ask for more
Jeff – blonde & blue-eyed
finally enough courage to ask
(probably shouldn’t have)
‘cause it scared him off
Jordan – dark & brooding poet’s soul
best friends for years
but when the time came
he didn’t want to ruin it
David – green-eyed soccer star
a Cold War of a catfight
with my friend Nicole…
never spoke to either again
Ian – a dancer & a gentleman
requited at last!
the candle was bright & hot
but it burned out fast
Greg – my dreams given flesh
everything was perfect
except one tiny detail:
he didn’t love me
Alan – another Kiwi, with hazel eyes
kindred spirit or past-life partner?
broke through defenses and pain
just to talk for hours
Johnnie – blue eyes like wells
and the soul I’d been looking for
he gave me a new name
and a beautiful baby girl
And the instruction for this one was to write a poem based on a photograph of a family member. This is an Italian-style sonnet (per Alan's suggestion) based on a pic of my brother at my eighth-grade graduation (he was eleven and not at all impressed by the goings-on):
Little Brother
My little brother, caught in boredom there,
If only we could have those days again –
The simple life of children’s innocence –
Back when the world was safe and life was fair.
What happened to those kids we were, and where
Has our enjoyment gone? Remember when
We’d laugh at anything, and all our friends
And family would always be right there?
We’ve both grown up – time goes by in a whirl –
Known love and pain and grief and death and birth,
We’ve moved out, gone to school, and “seen the world.”
But if this makes you sad, here is this pearl
Of wisdom: that, for whatever it’s worth,
I think we’re still the same young boy and girl.
Huzzah! I got the tags to work! Took me forever, but I did it. Now to revise like crazy for the final portfolio due Friday....
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-11 07:20 am (UTC)You're welcome my friend. And you know what?
I'd sit and talk for hours just because you're special that way. A game whirled around us. And you made it very worth it.
Plus I'm still amused that several girls were in a snit because you monopolised my time.
May the sun keep you and your little one same my friend.
*warm fuzzies and zen hugs*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-11 07:21 am (UTC)*hugs anyway and hugs for Morgan*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-11 02:27 pm (UTC)As am I. I felt mildly bad about it at the time, but I thought, "what the hell? I don't generally chat with guys I've just met." And I wasn't going to give you up just so someone like Kiwi could lick your hand again ;-)
~me
no subject
Date: 2005-08-11 07:56 pm (UTC)Especially as I know the context now.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-11 09:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-11 09:31 pm (UTC)