Some chanties for ye scabrous dogs!
Sep. 19th, 2006 09:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
janetlinThe Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
Narrator: "Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt, who together make up the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"
Larry, Pa, Mr. Lunt: "We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
We just stay home and lie around.
And if you ask us to do anything,
we'll just tell you ..."
Larry: "We don't do anything!"
Pa: "Well, I've never been Greenland
and I've never been to Denver,
and I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul,
and I've never been to Moscow
and I've never been to Tampa,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
We just stay home and lie around.
And if you ask us to do anything,
we'll just tell you .."
Mr. Lunt: "We don't do anything.
And I never hoist the mainstay
and I never swab the poop deck,
and I never veer to starboard 'cuz I never sail at all,
and I've never walked the gang plank
and I've never owned a parrot,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
We just stay at home and lie around.
And if you ask us to do anything,
we'll just tell you
.. We don't do anything!"
Larry: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster
and I'm not too good at ping-pong,
and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall,
and I've never kissed a chipmunk
and I've never gotten head lice,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall!"
Pa: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate??"
Mr. Lunt: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things!"
Larry: "Oh ..."
Pa: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"
Mr. Lunt: "I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!"
Pa: "Huh? No I don't!"
Mr. Lunt: "Do too."
Pa: "Do not!"
Mr. Lunt: "You're making me hungry."
Pa: "That's it, you're walkin' the plank!"
Mr. Lunt: "Says who?"
Pa: "Says the captain, that's who!"
Mr. Lunt: "Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!"
Larry: "And I've never licked a spark plug
and I've never sniffed a stink bug,
and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball,
and I've never bathed in yogurt
and I don't look good in leggings ..."
Pa: "You just don't get it!"
All: "And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"
Narrator: "Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt, who together make up the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"
Larry, Pa, Mr. Lunt: "We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
We just stay home and lie around.
And if you ask us to do anything,
we'll just tell you ..."
Larry: "We don't do anything!"
Pa: "Well, I've never been Greenland
and I've never been to Denver,
and I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul,
and I've never been to Moscow
and I've never been to Tampa,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
We just stay home and lie around.
And if you ask us to do anything,
we'll just tell you .."
Mr. Lunt: "We don't do anything.
And I never hoist the mainstay
and I never swab the poop deck,
and I never veer to starboard 'cuz I never sail at all,
and I've never walked the gang plank
and I've never owned a parrot,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
We just stay at home and lie around.
And if you ask us to do anything,
we'll just tell you
.. We don't do anything!"
Larry: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster
and I'm not too good at ping-pong,
and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall,
and I've never kissed a chipmunk
and I've never gotten head lice,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall!"
Pa: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate??"
Mr. Lunt: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things!"
Larry: "Oh ..."
Pa: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"
Mr. Lunt: "I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!"
Pa: "Huh? No I don't!"
Mr. Lunt: "Do too."
Pa: "Do not!"
Mr. Lunt: "You're making me hungry."
Pa: "That's it, you're walkin' the plank!"
Mr. Lunt: "Says who?"
Pa: "Says the captain, that's who!"
Mr. Lunt: "Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!"
Larry: "And I've never licked a spark plug
and I've never sniffed a stink bug,
and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball,
and I've never bathed in yogurt
and I don't look good in leggings ..."
Pa: "You just don't get it!"
All: "And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"
The Clean Song
There was a young sailor who looked through the glass,
And spied a fair mermaid with scales on her...
island, where seagulls fly over their nests
She combed the long hair that hung over her...
shoulders and caused her to tickle and itch.
The sailor cried out "There's a beautiful...
mermaid, a-sitting out there on the rocks,"
The crew came a-running, all grabbing their...
glasses, and crowded four deep to the rail,
All eager to share in this fine piece of...
news, which the captain soon heard from the watch.
He tied down the wheel and he reached for his...
crackers and cheese which he kept near the door.
In case he might someday encounter a...
mermaid. He knew he must use all his wits
Crying "Throw out a line. We'll lasso her...
flippers. And then we will certainly find
If mermaids are better before or be
brave, my good fellows." The captain then said.
"With fortune we'll break through her mermaiden...
heading to starboard, they tacked with dispatch.
And caught that fair mermaid just under her...
elbows, and hustled her down below decks,
And each took a turn at her feminine...
setting her free at the end of the farce,
She splashed in the waves, falling flat on her...
after a while one man noticed some scabs,
Soon they broke out with the pox and the...
scratching with fury, cursing with spleen,
This song may be dull but it's certainly clean!
There was a young sailor who looked through the glass,
And spied a fair mermaid with scales on her...
island, where seagulls fly over their nests
She combed the long hair that hung over her...
shoulders and caused her to tickle and itch.
The sailor cried out "There's a beautiful...
mermaid, a-sitting out there on the rocks,"
The crew came a-running, all grabbing their...
glasses, and crowded four deep to the rail,
All eager to share in this fine piece of...
news, which the captain soon heard from the watch.
He tied down the wheel and he reached for his...
crackers and cheese which he kept near the door.
In case he might someday encounter a...
mermaid. He knew he must use all his wits
Crying "Throw out a line. We'll lasso her...
flippers. And then we will certainly find
If mermaids are better before or be
brave, my good fellows." The captain then said.
"With fortune we'll break through her mermaiden...
heading to starboard, they tacked with dispatch.
And caught that fair mermaid just under her...
elbows, and hustled her down below decks,
And each took a turn at her feminine...
setting her free at the end of the farce,
She splashed in the waves, falling flat on her...
after a while one man noticed some scabs,
Soon they broke out with the pox and the...
scratching with fury, cursing with spleen,
This song may be dull but it's certainly clean!
Biddy McGraw
Oh let me tell you of a story that will give you a shock
a story’bout a murder on St. John’s Dock
the person in question was Biddy McGraw
and she strangled two sailors with the straps of her bra
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
Well they tried to get her drunk on her own corn liquor
but as quick as they were, she was quicker
She remembered she was told by her ma and her da
to keep both hands on the straps of yer bra
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
so she wrapped those straps around the big sailor's head
and she threw him in the river like a crust of bread
then the small sailor laughed and he said “Ha Ha!”
so she stuffed his gob with the rest of her bra
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
She went home that night ‘bout a quarter to one
very happy and contented with a job well done
she told her story to her ma and her da
they said,”Tanks be to God you were wearin’ yer bra!”
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
Now all you ladies who go walking at night
don’t keep the straps of yer bra too tight
just remember the story of Biddy McGraw
and keep both yer hands on the straps of yer bra
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
Oh let me tell you of a story that will give you a shock
a story’bout a murder on St. John’s Dock
the person in question was Biddy McGraw
and she strangled two sailors with the straps of her bra
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
Well they tried to get her drunk on her own corn liquor
but as quick as they were, she was quicker
She remembered she was told by her ma and her da
to keep both hands on the straps of yer bra
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
so she wrapped those straps around the big sailor's head
and she threw him in the river like a crust of bread
then the small sailor laughed and he said “Ha Ha!”
so she stuffed his gob with the rest of her bra
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
She went home that night ‘bout a quarter to one
very happy and contented with a job well done
she told her story to her ma and her da
they said,”Tanks be to God you were wearin’ yer bra!”
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
Now all you ladies who go walking at night
don’t keep the straps of yer bra too tight
just remember the story of Biddy McGraw
and keep both yer hands on the straps of yer bra
With me too-rye-a
Foddle-diddle-da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
With me too-rye-a
Foddle diddle da
Too-rye oo-rye oo-rye-a
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Blush...
Date: 2006-09-22 01:00 am (UTC)In whole - very cool!
Re: Blush...
Date: 2006-09-22 01:37 am (UTC)The first song is from a VeggieTales movie, which are geared toward children, but the last two are from a group called the Jolly Rogers who specialize in bawdy songs. I discovered them at the Kansas City Renaissance Festival while I was out there for school, and wish they would come out to California to do shows. They're hilarious.